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We didn’t even make it to the Thirteenth Amendment.īut being able to see the latest blockbusters, to feel connected to pop culture again, to socialise, even just making it out of the house – was a panacea to the stresses of looking after a small baby. But baby had learned to crawl by then, and demonstrated her opinion of the film’s slow pace by repeatedly making for the exit. Then, we tried Lincoln – an epic historical drama about the US president’s final four months. DIE.ġ06."I have singular tastes.Intrepidly, we embraced The Hunger Games: a post-apocalyptic dystopia, pitting boys and girls against each other in a desperate and bloodthirsty survival of the fittest – in other words, taking a small infant to the cinema. I would die if that photo of me ran in a newspaper. HAHAHA, her roommate's all, "Christian gave you a car? I picked the wrong brother."ġ05. Hook the girl up with a data plan for crying out loud.ġ04. Wait, Christian has given Anastasia ancient books, a new computer, and a new car - and she's still got this flip phone?ġ02. Just like a man to spank you and bail.ġ01. "Christian, that's a car." This script, bruh.ġ00. They're drinking out of weird cup/bowls again. "Let me tell you about the time I was malnourished." Cool speech, Christian.ĩ8. Why make a show of having people bring sushi to this meeting if you're not going to eat the sushi?ĩ7.
#WHERE TO WATCH FIFTY SHADES OF GREY MOVIE#
"What's a buttplug?" would have definitely been a better tagline for this movie than "Curious?"ĩ5. Oh, OK - those scars on his chest are a plot point. So she's super sweaty from exercising and he's just licking her?ĩ3. Literature student Anastasia Steeles life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey. Why isn't she freaking out that he was just in her apartment?ĩ1. We're not focusing on the fact he's in her apartment?Ĩ7. He just showed up in her apartment and she doesn't ask, "How did you get in here?"Ĩ6. OK, since Christian just dropped Anastasia off, I feel like he's sending these emails while driving and that's dangerous.Ĩ4. "You look different." CAN SHE LIVE, KATE?Ĩ3. "I never took anyone else in the helicopter, never had sex in my own bed, never slept next to anyone else." Man, those other 15 women were missing the fuck out.Ĩ2. Why is Anastasia wearing all these weird Genie-like flats?Ĩ1. No matter how cool the car, driving home after a helicopter flight is a pretty steep downgrade.Ĩ0. I bet Christian wraps an amazing Christmas present.ħ9.
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And is there a hot man class where men are taught the best way to flex their biceps while stripping?ħ7. Do all hot men take their shirts off by grabbing the material at the base of their neck?ħ6. Man, Anastasia drinks out of a lot of bowls.ħ5. Quick tip: Stop playing music while other people are sleeping if you'd like to be left alone.ħ4.
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These two are fairly surprised every time their loud music wakes the other one up.ħ3. Another movie where a woman is gifted a first edition of a book? How even?!ħ2. Now let the girl put her own lip gloss on for fuck's sake.ģ7. Geez, Christian ran from the possibility of romance faster than Leonardo DiCaprio.ģ6. A masking tape connoisseur? Kill me now.ģ4. Just cut to the chase and ask for the bondage section, Christian.ģ3. How long has Christian been creepily waiting in that aisle for Anastasia to walk by? Twenty minutes?ģ2. Does Anastasia still use a flip phone so we know she's poor?ģ1. What are we supposed to take away from the fact that Anastasia let her roommate steal that sandwich? That she's passive? That Kate's a bitch? Both?ģ0. I don't know about you, but after I have a meet-cute, I too like to make a chicken salad sandwich.Ģ8. Anastasia's roommate, Kate (Eloise Mumford), looks like a lion.Ģ7. Or maybe Mother Nature was like, "Here, you need to cool down."Ģ6.